She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
