He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Girls should come with a carfax report
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
