wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
