Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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