why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
