I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
