she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
