I wanna passion pit in your ass
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
