i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
