...so i touched it.
I wish you could order shots online.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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