me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
