i don't like sucking hair
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
