Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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