Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can I color on your dick again?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
