I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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