First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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