What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
