you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
