I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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