he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I touched a dick in church today
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
