I'm lost and stupid without you.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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