I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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