is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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