Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
