How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
