Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
