Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
