I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
