Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
