It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
