Screwed.edu
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
