Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
