If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
