He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
