dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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