Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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