butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
