I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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