Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
