Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
