only you would photoshop your dick
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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