i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
