he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
