so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize