What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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