I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
is that a dick in a sweater?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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