Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize