How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
