sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
