just survived the first fart of the relationship.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
