i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
