I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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