he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I deserve this hangover.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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