clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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