I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
