My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
vagina is talking i cant
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
