Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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