Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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