I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
