Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
