haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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