Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
