Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
